home of a crazy herbalist


A Love Letter <3

“One can heal by literally making a list of all the freedoms denied, and then working backward, taking back all freedoms thwarted, especially those that bring goodness to self and the world back into one’s consciousness, re-setting all action and thought in the holy center, including the right to act, move, create, be, thrive fully.”
— Clarissa Pinkola Estes
Ocotillo from the Southern Cali desert. A teacher among teachers she is♥

Ocotillo from the Southern Cali desert. A teacher among teachers she is♥

so much love for you.

We are still here, aren't we? Pulling back layers, fighting for survival, waking each day willing to explore, resist, observe....the process of healing from or pushing back against trauma is some of the hardest most unseen and unglorified work more people than we know are doing with us each day. We are not alone, no matter how much it feels that way. 

The cultural stories which ask us to be smaller or other than who we are are not acceptable. The violence done to us without our consent is unacceptable. The lack of collective support many of us feel is isolating and a product of a system designed to hide power from communities which build resistance. But inside we are everyday building a community within us so that we can embrace the communities we belong to.

Healing trauma is about re-writing our stories, releasing the lies that have permeated our cells and finding new ones. It is about finding allies who support us and learning new skills to walk in the world embodied and empowered as much as you desire to be on any given day. It is about falling in love again at some point. There is an arc to the process where the only thing left to do is to fall in love with yourself so deeply that nothing you mess up on, do, say wrong, etc can turn you against yourself. It is about finding space to be in the present...to really be in the present, able to respond to situations more frequently from the parts of you who the trauma could never dismantle. Because you are so damn wise. 

It's lifelong this healing process. It's a journey of release and clarity. It is about flirting with trust and seeing if trust is something you might want a relationship with. It is about embracing the whole spectrum of experience the nervous system is desperate to show us. It is about caring for and feeding our beautiful animal bodies. 

It is about reconnecting with our surroundings, with the earth and the gut and the divinity of you.

It isn't about anyone else.

It isn't for anyone else.

The dominant culture holding and directing power doesn't offer a lot of room for this process unless you have economic privileges. That is real and it isn't you. You aren't failing anyone. Your worth is never indicated by your bank account. Your contributions to our community are measured by so much more than that. You are necessary. You are relevant. You are worthy and powerful. You are in a process which takes a shit ton of personal resources to navigate.

Personal trauma is real. Cultural trauma is real. The stories of our ancestors rattle in our bones. May they find peace as we walk though our lives in bodies which whisper wild ways of re-knowing, re-membering, re-living.

So much love to you. I honor your journey. I admire your courage. 

You got this ♥

xoxo, kirsten

P.S. Have you heard of The Breathe Network? It is an online collection of sliding scale, trauma informed practitioners with experience serving survivors. If you are looking for more than/something other than an herbalist to be a part of your support, it is a great resource. You can find my page, where I talk specifically about serving survivors HERE